Taking in some culture
Door: Jeroen
07 Juli 2007 | Tanzania, Dar es Salaam
Beginning of June.
I am living in the area Namanga now. I rented a nice house, perfectly located in the middle of the Hekima school, the city centre, my yoga centre and my favorite bar. Direct busses to all these places. The house itself has a large living room with kitchen. The room is 10 by 4,5 metres with a tiled floor. I fell for that space the minute I entered. Then there are two bedrooms and two bathrooms, one with a bath and the other with a shower. The house is in a courtyard with other houses, a gate and a watchman. Other things are a little less perfect. The painting inside is done quite badly, the sanitary provisions are not very nice, there is no hot water and a handful of other minor shortcomings.
I had dreamed of eating more European style as soon as I had my own place. Instead I am eating almost exclusively African. Cooked bananas with beef, rice with fish, ugali. This is because I live together with Cathy and she does the cooking. Sofar I have no problem adjusting, I draw the line at breakfast however. No African food for breakfast, that is too much to handle.
Cathy took me to her village, Mamba. With the bus to Same (direction of Moshi) and then 4 or 5 hours on a dirt road into the mountains. They are not very high, but my god how beautiful it is here. The countryside is rough, rocky with a lot of green. Flowers and birds everywhere. Some villages with cultivated land, mostly maize and cassave. The people here are Pare and there are some Masaai as well.
She had warned me that her village is very 'bush'. Her mothers house is a bit away from the centre and it has no electricity and no water. The toilet is a shared little house standing alone some 20 metres away. Inside the house it is a total mess. Cathy's room is filled with suitcases and bags, clothes piled onto a chair or lying on the floor. There are tomatoes, onions and bananas also on the floor. Cathy's mother sells these and dried fish and tangawizi to make a few shillings. There is a small table with empty Nestle cans for babymilk. Cathy is not happy with the way things look, but I am not bothered by it at all. Here I am on her big bed, taking a nap with little Johnny sleeping quietly next to me. I can't help but laugh. Life is pretty weird and surprising once again.
'Who the hell is Cathy?' you think, 'and what happened to Janeth?'
Well what happened to Janeth is that she waited three weeks for me and then found herself another man. So since the end of Januari she has been lying to me. And to him as well I guess. When I found out (checked her phone while she was sleeping) it didn't surprise me. I knew it... but all that time I had refused to let it in. I chose to believe her instead. We are free to believe whatever we want, aren't we? Now believing has become a bit more difficult, I have no idea what to believe anymore. Was all of it a lie?
The last month was very weird. A number of times when we were supposed to meet she didn't show up. She was busy or her stomach hurt too much. Or she was in hospital. I went to be there with her two times, both times she hadn't even checked in. But then in the middle of the night, usually between 4 and 5 she would come to my hotel. Drunk and a few times she started to cry. She said: 'Doesn't it prove that I really love you? When I am drunk and men start to hassle me I tell them I only want to be with my boyfriend and come to you'. Hmm, it sounds good, but still I am fighting a lost battle here. From the very beginning I have known that her body is my ally, but her conscious mind my enemy. Like that first night when she dropped drunk on my bed and said: "You should have taken me home", I answered "Maybe, but I really wanted you to be with me", "Why?", "Because I really want to sleep with you", "O.... then you better take off my dress". That must have been my best conversation ever! And as long as her body would be close enough to be under my spell we'd be ok. Or when her mind would be intoxicated to the right amount, her body would find a taxi and come to me. But lately her mind fought back more succesfully. It would prevent her to be alone with me, or it would start a fight with me over nothing (but then in the morning my body would wake hers up, slowly, slowly, without telling her mind).
Not only are we free to believe whatever we want, but also we can choose our memories. So I shall believe it was true and I want to remember this: one night we were out. She is dancing with her friend Rosemary. Of course she has drank one or two beers too many. Suddenly she comes to me and says: "You are the first man I want to make love with all the time".
After I found out about her other lover we had an ugly fight. I had sent him an sms and he and I talked a bit. She was very angry about that. In our fight I broke her golden necklace. When I refused to pay for its repair she threatened me with the police. She would have me thrown out of the country or make me pay very dearly. Two days later she misses me and wants to come to my hotel. She doesn't love him, she only loves me she says. We spend a few more nights together. During our last night (the usual stuff, 4 in the night, drunk, crying) she says between her tears: "All my family votes for you". An interesting little sentence. First of all it is a clear confession that there are two men. And apparently it is difficult for her to choose. Then 'all my family' ...! That means they all know about it? Her holy sisters - no we can't touch because I don't want to give a bad example - , I respect my family, blah, blah, even with the bible next to her bed and Jesus Christ on her walls? And in the mean time they all know about it, they all know she is fucking two white guys!!? Damn baby, that is ugly! And third and last 'all my family votes for you' also suggests that she does not. And of course, it has to be like that... I paid for this years rent of her house and for her mothers grave. He bought her an expensive engagement ring... But it doesn't matter really. Haven't I learned on this trip that you can only give FROM something but never TO something? That is also the reason why I don't understand people who tell me 'be careful'. As soon as you stop doing things to get something, nothing bad can ever happen to you.
After I found this house I sent Janeth a message that she could stop looking for a house for me. I'm sure she already had, but I thought it fair to let her know. She sms-ed me 'where?', but I feel better her not knowing for now. After that she called me a few times but I didn't answer. Now I wonder who is calling me 'withheld' every fridaynight. I never answer a 'withheld' call either. Why should I talk with someone who hides his phonenumber from me?
I am living in the area Namanga now. I rented a nice house, perfectly located in the middle of the Hekima school, the city centre, my yoga centre and my favorite bar. Direct busses to all these places. The house itself has a large living room with kitchen. The room is 10 by 4,5 metres with a tiled floor. I fell for that space the minute I entered. Then there are two bedrooms and two bathrooms, one with a bath and the other with a shower. The house is in a courtyard with other houses, a gate and a watchman. Other things are a little less perfect. The painting inside is done quite badly, the sanitary provisions are not very nice, there is no hot water and a handful of other minor shortcomings.
I had dreamed of eating more European style as soon as I had my own place. Instead I am eating almost exclusively African. Cooked bananas with beef, rice with fish, ugali. This is because I live together with Cathy and she does the cooking. Sofar I have no problem adjusting, I draw the line at breakfast however. No African food for breakfast, that is too much to handle.
Cathy took me to her village, Mamba. With the bus to Same (direction of Moshi) and then 4 or 5 hours on a dirt road into the mountains. They are not very high, but my god how beautiful it is here. The countryside is rough, rocky with a lot of green. Flowers and birds everywhere. Some villages with cultivated land, mostly maize and cassave. The people here are Pare and there are some Masaai as well.
She had warned me that her village is very 'bush'. Her mothers house is a bit away from the centre and it has no electricity and no water. The toilet is a shared little house standing alone some 20 metres away. Inside the house it is a total mess. Cathy's room is filled with suitcases and bags, clothes piled onto a chair or lying on the floor. There are tomatoes, onions and bananas also on the floor. Cathy's mother sells these and dried fish and tangawizi to make a few shillings. There is a small table with empty Nestle cans for babymilk. Cathy is not happy with the way things look, but I am not bothered by it at all. Here I am on her big bed, taking a nap with little Johnny sleeping quietly next to me. I can't help but laugh. Life is pretty weird and surprising once again.
'Who the hell is Cathy?' you think, 'and what happened to Janeth?'
Well what happened to Janeth is that she waited three weeks for me and then found herself another man. So since the end of Januari she has been lying to me. And to him as well I guess. When I found out (checked her phone while she was sleeping) it didn't surprise me. I knew it... but all that time I had refused to let it in. I chose to believe her instead. We are free to believe whatever we want, aren't we? Now believing has become a bit more difficult, I have no idea what to believe anymore. Was all of it a lie?
The last month was very weird. A number of times when we were supposed to meet she didn't show up. She was busy or her stomach hurt too much. Or she was in hospital. I went to be there with her two times, both times she hadn't even checked in. But then in the middle of the night, usually between 4 and 5 she would come to my hotel. Drunk and a few times she started to cry. She said: 'Doesn't it prove that I really love you? When I am drunk and men start to hassle me I tell them I only want to be with my boyfriend and come to you'. Hmm, it sounds good, but still I am fighting a lost battle here. From the very beginning I have known that her body is my ally, but her conscious mind my enemy. Like that first night when she dropped drunk on my bed and said: "You should have taken me home", I answered "Maybe, but I really wanted you to be with me", "Why?", "Because I really want to sleep with you", "O.... then you better take off my dress". That must have been my best conversation ever! And as long as her body would be close enough to be under my spell we'd be ok. Or when her mind would be intoxicated to the right amount, her body would find a taxi and come to me. But lately her mind fought back more succesfully. It would prevent her to be alone with me, or it would start a fight with me over nothing (but then in the morning my body would wake hers up, slowly, slowly, without telling her mind).
Not only are we free to believe whatever we want, but also we can choose our memories. So I shall believe it was true and I want to remember this: one night we were out. She is dancing with her friend Rosemary. Of course she has drank one or two beers too many. Suddenly she comes to me and says: "You are the first man I want to make love with all the time".
After I found out about her other lover we had an ugly fight. I had sent him an sms and he and I talked a bit. She was very angry about that. In our fight I broke her golden necklace. When I refused to pay for its repair she threatened me with the police. She would have me thrown out of the country or make me pay very dearly. Two days later she misses me and wants to come to my hotel. She doesn't love him, she only loves me she says. We spend a few more nights together. During our last night (the usual stuff, 4 in the night, drunk, crying) she says between her tears: "All my family votes for you". An interesting little sentence. First of all it is a clear confession that there are two men. And apparently it is difficult for her to choose. Then 'all my family' ...! That means they all know about it? Her holy sisters - no we can't touch because I don't want to give a bad example - , I respect my family, blah, blah, even with the bible next to her bed and Jesus Christ on her walls? And in the mean time they all know about it, they all know she is fucking two white guys!!? Damn baby, that is ugly! And third and last 'all my family votes for you' also suggests that she does not. And of course, it has to be like that... I paid for this years rent of her house and for her mothers grave. He bought her an expensive engagement ring... But it doesn't matter really. Haven't I learned on this trip that you can only give FROM something but never TO something? That is also the reason why I don't understand people who tell me 'be careful'. As soon as you stop doing things to get something, nothing bad can ever happen to you.
After I found this house I sent Janeth a message that she could stop looking for a house for me. I'm sure she already had, but I thought it fair to let her know. She sms-ed me 'where?', but I feel better her not knowing for now. After that she called me a few times but I didn't answer. Now I wonder who is calling me 'withheld' every fridaynight. I never answer a 'withheld' call either. Why should I talk with someone who hides his phonenumber from me?
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Je kunt nu ook Smileys gebruiken. Via de toolbar, toetsenbord of door eerst : te typen en dan een woord bijvoorbeeld :smiley
