Wonderland

Third week of June.

I feel like Alice in Wonderland these days. Never a clue whatsoever of what is going on. Just holding on to the white rabbit.

Today I have been making uji for Cathy. Uji is a porridge made with millet flower. Before she went to the hospital she told me that that is what she would like to eat after her abortion (and no... it was not mine). She now is recovering on our spare mattress in the living room. She has been eating good and sleeps a lot. She feels sick now and then and has a lot of pain, but I think she will be fine soon. Besides the uji she ate two raw eggs and wanted honey.
I wasn't there in the hospital, but according to what she tells me they drugged her pretty good. While she was away she spoke with the mother of the father of her child. The woman is long dead and invited Cathy to come with her. Cathy told her she couldn't come because she had to be happy first and besides she hadn't said goodbye.

Almost three weeks we are together now and it is amazing how easy it is to be with Cathy. Or in fact I should say: with Cathy it is so easy to be (me). That is all there is to it. We're just both ourselves. And although we have had some cultural clashes, we accept our differences.
We met in the Q-bar, where else? We got on the empty dancefloor at the same moment, from opposite sides. We danced, had a drink and talked. In the latest Spiderman movie there is this moment where Peter (alias Spiderman) is wanting to call his girlfriend. They've been fighting and he wants to make up. He doesn't know what to say, so he is trying to make up his mind in front of the phone in the corridor. The Russian house owner comes to his aid. "Who you want to call? Is it a woman? Very easy, you just say: 'You're a good woman, I'm a good man'!". That is exactly what Cathy said to me when we met: "You're a good man, I'm a good girl". And with that we decided to put it together and see where it would take us. That was on a friday night, the next day she found me a house and on sunday we moved in together.

But slowly our perfect arrangement is turning into a really bad soap. Last night Cathy packed her things. That was the second time, this time I told her to leave in the morning. Instead of leaving she started to clean the house. Then her brother in law called. After the call, she comes to me: "You know what? My sisters where disappointed that we didn't meet with them (when we were in her village), they decided to come to see us. They are already on their way, without even taking a phone". Well.... there is nothing to do about that, so I ask 'Do you want to buy a spare mattress or shall we put them in a guesthouse?'. It's a stupid question, I suppose. So instead of being alone, I have 4 african women in my house. Tuta, the older sister, with her 2 year old daughter Nevi, and Aisha, Cathy's 13-year old younger sister. I said they can stay for a couple of days, that was on a Sunday. On Tuesday, I ask how long they plan on staying? Till Sunday is the answer! That is unacceptable, plus I am finding chewed on bones in my suitcase and also all my things have been opened and gone through. Clearly their sense of 'family' and my sense of 'privacy' don't go together well. Then they decide to leave the next day, also because, as Cathy tells me, her sister wants to see her husband. When that same husband is in our house the next morning, while I am still in bed, it's too much for me. I ask them all to leave. Cathy fails to understand. She says 'You don't like people'. It's no use explaining to her that I want to be informed beforehand and that people can stay just a few days at a time. And, I try to explain, I don't appreciate guests in my house to clean, to cook and to wash our clothes. (Nor do I want a housegirl to do these things for me). Of course she is talking about respect. Respecting her family. But that none of them came to visit her during the last 5 months when she was living in a guesthouse that is something different.
It's a thing we are not going to solve. And we don't have to, she is free to stay or leave at any moment. To be honest I am ready for her to leave.

Janeth called me today. This time (after not answering her for 3 weeks) I took the call. 'Just to say hello', she said. So we exchanged a 'how are you' and nothing more. Her credit must have been low, she wanted me to call her back. I didn't. I couldn't, I was shaking all over. I have absolutely no defense against that woman. I'd be happy to make the same mistakes all over with her. But I can manage not to call her.