The end

I am back in Dar es Salaam. I tried to write an ending to this weblog a few times, but can't make myself put one of them here. Too much 'destiny' stuff. Too personal. So here is one more try.

Saying goodbye to the Netherlands was unneeded. I felt I had already left. It's a beautiful country. To visit as a tourist! Said goodbye to a few people. But of course there are many more that I didn't manage to see. A lot of 'be careful's. I have no idea what they are talking about. One girl told me, quite unexpectedly, how happy she is that she always withstood me. A clear moral statement! Withstood me? All I ever did was tie a red rose to her shoe-lace once. I was way too shy then to go any further. Hell, that was 25 years ago! She still waits for her one true love. I believe in that too actually. Except I keep finding her! Two years ago I met two of my exes again. Both for the first time since some 20 years. They represent two of the ugliest endings I experienced. One said she was happy to have been my girlfriend, the other that it still was her most special love-affair.
Give all, take all. Is there any other way?

All this brings me to Janeth of course. She picked me up from the airport. We still are together. Quite seriously in fact. I told her I would want us to be together. She said 'only after we're married'. Haha, I've been on that road before. That is exactly the same way as it went with my ex! So what now? Go for it? Sure, what else? (Yeah, yeah, I know: 'Be careful'). I told Janeth I don't believe in that wedding-vow anymore, I broke it once, it has no real meaning to me. She believes in it though, quite literally. (..... or for worse.) Help! She even wants to marry in church. Well, that is something I've never tried before! But nothing is decided yet, we'll see were this leads us.

Next year I'll turn 50. That is a laugh! You are all invited to the party. And thank you all for reading my weblog!